I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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