What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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