if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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