When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
