I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
