i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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