Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
