Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
