wat bout pragnant strippers??
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
this boner is exhausting
we're making bets on your personal life
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
