just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize