i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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