if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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