i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
