We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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