Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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