i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
