he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
