woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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