Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
