dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
