Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
