got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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