Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
