i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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