Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
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