walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
We left an ass print on the piano.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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