i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Randomize
