i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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