This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
