kristin has been a bad kristin
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
