My first STD was from a foam party
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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