if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
