he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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