Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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