No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
