you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Randomize
