Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize