I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
