I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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