What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
