Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
