On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
