It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
