He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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