it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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