Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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