Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Randomize
