I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
this just has baby written all over it
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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