honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize