how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize