Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Just high enough for therapy.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
