So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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