I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
