I'd wear matching sweaters with you
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Rumble strips road head = magical
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
