what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
