girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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