Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
What did we do last night that was yellow?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Let's get the cat blown out
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
