after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
The feeling are messing with the penis
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize