there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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