3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
