you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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