I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Randomize
